Published in Imprint May 21, 2010

Meeting new people is an essential first step to building your network, but what happens after that is totally determined by one thing: first impressions.

The image you project, and more importantly, how you are remembered, may define your relationship with that person for many years after.

After these initial judgments are made, it takes a lot of effort to make people think differently. So why not start off on the right track?

In their article titled “First Impressions,” Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov found that people can form initial judgments of people’s attractiveness, likeability, trustworthiness, competence, and aggressiveness after looking at a face for as little as 100 milliseconds.

These judgments tend to be eerily similar to the ones made over a far longer period of time. Needless to say, 100ms is barely enough time to breathe. So our appearances must have something to do with it.

Good grooming is therefore essential to making a great first impression.  The problem is that the definition of good grooming changes depending on the audience.

If you want to make a great impression on people who love tattoos and piercings, by all means, show off yours. If you’d like to fit in with a group that’s particularly fond of sweater vests, why not sport your own?

Certain looks may attract positive attention from certain audiences because they reflect a certain style and attitude. However, clothing, makeup, jewelry, and accessories can have such a powerful influence on others, there’s a risk of getting dragged down by stereotypes.

Much of the personal grooming advice out there for interviews (where first impressions are critical) encourage a tasteful, modest approach to the way you look so you don’t overwhelm people with what you’re wearing.

My suggestion? Ask people you trust to give you honest answers about what kind of message you’re sending with what you wear.  Ideally, these people should be part of the audience you want to make a great impression on.

You may be surprised at what they say—but it can only help you make a better impression in the future.

If great personal grooming was all it took to make a great first impression, only the most beautiful people would be successful in life.  Luckily for the normal 97 per cent of us, that’s not completely true. Using body language to project an aura of confidence is also extremely important.

Making eye contact, having a firm grip when shaking someone’s hand, smiling, and having an open posture are all important components of a confident demeanour.

Acting confident is important, but feeling confident is much more powerful. Remind yourself of things you’re proud of and past goals you’ve accomplished.  Write down some future goals you want to take on, and figure out the steps it will take to get there. If there are things in your life you want to change, consider that now might be the perfect time to do it.  Having a sense of purpose and accomplishment in your life will naturally lift your spirits and make you more enthusiastic and confident.

People’s superficial perception of who you are is formed in the first 30 seconds of meeting them, but the true impression is determined by what you say — or don’t say—next. One thing Dale Carnegie emphasizes in his famous book How to Win Friends and Influence People is the importance of listening.

No matter what kind of dazzling performance you put on for people when you first meet them, it rarely compares to the impression you leave by making people feel listened to.  Asking people about their interests and goals, paraphrasing (or “echoing back”) their ideas are both great ways to show people you’re genuinely interested in who they are.

Two key skills to practise: looking well groomed and listening to what people have to say.  Just remember: making a great first impression is the first step to building a great network you can rely on.